yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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