I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
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