Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
