I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
