This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
