Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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