Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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