I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
