I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
