Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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