wrigley field is MILF paradise
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
