Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
