Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
