Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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