I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
