please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
