I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
