Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
