Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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