Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
