Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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