Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
