this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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