I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize