My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
