I molested 6 butterflies tonight
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
