He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
