Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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