I'm eating all of the evidence.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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