ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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