I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize