Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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