brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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