I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
