I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
