Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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