Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
