We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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