You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
