Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
