If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize