called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
