It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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