Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize