I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
