How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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