he was CRYING into my vagina
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize