Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Need sex. Gaining weight.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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