You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
