Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
