I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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