dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
