Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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