My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
