brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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