lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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