Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
and she was petting her beer can
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
