i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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