On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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