ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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