Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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