Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
