If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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