when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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