Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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