Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
