we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
