So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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