we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
