i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
