Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
