HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The adults are the big ones right?
try to milk me bitch
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